A Petition to the Universe:

We the people, in order to actually finish, accomplish, refine, and increase our endeavors and capacities for success, do hereby petition the Universe for an increase in the length of our humble planet's Solar Day by 4 hours.

These extra hours are for our personal benefit, and may be used as we see fit. They can be used to do laundry, go to the dry cleaner, eat dinner in a restaurant, exercise, balance the checkbook, sleep, watch television, play a video game, cook, read, start a business, daydream, practice standup comedy in front of the bathroom mirror, eat pancakes, play with the cat, make waffles, lie in a hammock, ride a bike, learn a language, refresh fading math skills, go to church, debate philosophy, take the train to the end of the line, practice a new hobby, plan to take over the world, install solar panels, bake cookies, randomly spread flower seeds through urban areas, teach a parrot to talk, visit the library, watch a movie, build a workbench, catch up with family, finish the honey-do list, complete the 300 unfinished projects stagnating around the house, write a book, post a blog, teach great-aunt edna to use email so shouting through the phone is no longer necessary, &etc as required by individuals everywhere.

Respectfully submitted,


me, myself, and I


**ADDENDUM:
Employers shall NOT be allowed to increase the length of work days, shifts, or to otherwise require the use of these increased hours for company profit; NOR will they be allowed to undercut payment of overtime rates or further decrease the amount of time legally granted to us through applicable vacation, sick days, weekends, holidays, breaks, or meals; NOR will they be allowed to alter the number of days in the work week. These requirements are considered binding, and though individual inclination may allow for temporary use of these extra hours to aid one's employer or earn greater pay, such agreements shall not be considered permanent NOR will one individual's agreement influence or reflect upon the lack of agreement by another individual, NOR will such agreements between an individual and his/her employer be considered binding to any other individuals under employ within the same company.

*****

...while these four hours may not actually be sufficient to finish my 300 incomplete projects, they would certainly let me put a dent in those giant storage boxes of yarn...